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I was out with my wife one evening. Picture the setting of a warmly lit restaurant and the silent chatter of couples connecting over dinner. What happens next is a bit embarrassing. I looked down at my phone in mid-conversation, put my hand in the air to call a conversation time-out and responded to a text message. Instant mood killer!

Have you ever been there? Look around next time you are out with your spouse, check to see how often we allow ourselves to be pulled away with text messages or phone distraction. We know this is a mood killer yet we do it anyway!

Here’s my challenge to you and to me:

When you are out with your spouse, make it a policy to put the phone away and listen. That’s it! Guys, I’m calling you out! Ladies, step-up and put the phone away!

Imagine with me, what it might look like to spend an uninterrupted evening with your spouse listening intently to their thoughts, feelings, and emotions. One of the most valuable behaviors today is listening because it is so scarce.

Will you accept the challenge of being a better listener?


  1. This evening take your cell phones and turn the ringer off and put them in a basket by the door.
  2. Spend 10 minutes in uninterrupted conversation with your spouse.